We were invited to take part in This Is Me when it first launched as a pilot in our area. At the time, we were really struggling with our son, who was showing early signs of autism that were manifesting in violent behaviours.
Our daughter was also deeply affected—not only by her brother's challenges but also by her own, which we weren't even aware of before starting the programme.
School staff knew we had reached out to our GP for help with our son and suggested we join This Is Me as a way to support us all as a family. What we didn't realise then was just how life-changing that invitation would be.
The programme ultimately helped us get to the root of the challenges we were facing—not just with our children, but with ourselves as parents. It has since become the strong foundation our family now stands on.
The programme also welcomed my mum, which was incredibly important. While she could see there were issues, she wasn't initially on board with the idea that the children might be autistic. Like many, her understanding of autism was based on outdated or extreme portrayals, which didn't match what we were experiencing.
For example, when our daughter was younger and would arrange her bath toys by colour, size, and shape, we thought she was just clever and organised. But through This Is Me , we began to see other signs—like the anxiety she experienced when pavement patterns didn't align or when drains didn't match up. These seemingly small things were actually causing her significant distress.
One of the most impactful tools we learned about was the Zones of Regulation . This helped our son begin to recognise when he was dysregulated. Over time, he learned to understand and express his emotions—distinguishing between hunger, tiredness, embarrassment, shame, and so on. Before, any of those feelings would result in what our coach called him putting on his “big angry coat,” and we couldn't reach
him.
This analogy was a lightbulb moment for me, and I will never forget that phrase. Now, we understand his triggers, know how to support him during meltdowns, and use simple language and calming strategies that really work. We also learned the importance of reflection—both for him and for us as parents.
The difference in him now is nothing short of remarkable. Perhaps most unexpectedly, This Is Me led us to reflect on ourselves as well. Through this journey, we discovered that we are all neurodivergent. Being able to talk openly and honestly as a family about our experiences has brought us closer together. We've learned to protect our peace, to share only with those who support us, and to stop worrying about what others might think.
We are stronger than ever—and every one of us is achieving amazing things every day.
I truly believe that This Is Me was the beginning of our journey. It gave us hope at a time when every door felt closed. It's not easy to admit you're struggling—but it's OK to say you need help. And there is help out there.